Time?

Do you ever feel as if you are on a different time scale? Seriously, when you purposely wait for time to slowly go by, your time scale feels alot slower. Hmpphf. I'm making no sense am i? I suppose it doesnt matter if i make sense or not, as this is just a place where i share my inner thoughts. No one is meant to understand it. Well this week i had a full week of work experience. Working nine till five. It wasnt too bad apart from constant feet aches. Overall i somehow learnt alot. While i had no customers to serve or no shoes to sort out, my eyes wondered towards the window. And outside of this window was a never ending surge of people walking by. And it is amazing, every person is a different person. Each and every day, the hundreds of people that walk by are different. It reminds me how large the world is, but also how small it is. Customers ive never known are now somehow connected to me. The world is a never ending necklace, every pearl is connected, every person is connected. And that brings another point, each and every person is a pearl who is trapped in an oyster with trillions of other people.

Back to my work experience week in Barrats. At first i hated the fact of working, of using the hands and feet i have. But as the hours slowly passed, i started to enjoy myself. And i started to think about the people who have harder jobs. I bit my tongue, and promised myself to try. Working hard is not easy. No work is simple. At the beginning of the week i wanted to week to end so badly. And no i dont want it to. What makes us change our judgements?
Is it other people?
Is it the sky?
Is it God?
Or is it ourselves?
Questions, so many of them never have answers. They shouldnt be called 'questions'. But then they cant be called a rhetorical question as i dont know the answer and i do want it... maybe these quesitons will never have answers.

Raindrops

Have you ever stood in the rain?You walk along the dusty path barefooted and let the raindrops sting on your flesh. You feel your eyes filling up with raindrops, everything is a blurr. The cold breeze sweeps in, ad you are left. Just standing there. Just left. No one is around to comfort you. No one there to hold your trembling hand. Leaves rustle around you from all directions. No one can see you no more. No one can feel the emotions you feel. You can hardly feel your heart beating. No one ever considers, that this is sometimes how people can feel. It hurts to think, that millions of people feel like this everyday. Today i want it to rain. I want it to patter down. I want the hailstones to batter my heart. I dont want to feel no more. Just let the clouds overshadow you, no one will ever realise. . . . I need it to rain. I want to feel pain.

Tulips

Now spring is blossoming, i seem to feel more content and satisfied with life. Like Spring, everything around me is changing. Tulips are coming up. The rain is pattering down more. The grass in greener. The sky is bluer. All is changing. I like change. Its comforting. I am concentrating more on my studies now, as i realise that i should try harder. But recently, i feel as if days are going by so quickly. I only started writing this 5 minutes ago, and outside the sky was still blue. I look at it now, its a pink purply colour. I just cant seem to keep up with time. I feel as if i am on a different time scale compared to the whole world. I have also realised that trying to figure out what life means is useless. As it all changes so quickly. So many things has happened, and when i think about it. I realise that there is a God, and everything happens for a cause. Wow, its hilarious how i changed the whole subject within one sentence. My thoughts just blubber out of my head to quickly. I should really think about them, before i type them out. Strange.. how we can just type our thoughts out...

Lamentness

You hear the water pouring against the bathtub. The whole bathroom echoing, and slowly steaming up. One foot in, and you scream. Baths. They are either too hot or too cold. You can never get them perfect. And when you try to, you dont suceed. So how about, just laying in the 'too hot' bath. Eventually the bath will loose its heat and be luke warm. Maybe life is like this. When you try to sort things out, it only makes situations worse, and a bigger hassle than they were. And then theres the fact that when you are content and happy in life, something always comes along to ruin it. Or if your depressed, happiness keeps trying to sneak its way back in. Nothing is never 'Just Right'. But then people moan, when their life is average and not spontanious. Do any of us, seem to know what we want. Or should we just let the water carry us to a direction... Life is a Bath, with bubbles awaiting to burst . ... Its only a thought. Just a Trace of Wonder ...